Disclosure– PLEASE if you are easily offended, don’t bother reading, just click out and I’ll see you in my next post! Maybe? 😉
OK, so remember the weekly rundown of Laura Living Life, that I literally did two post on… No you don’t? Yeah I’m not surprised. If I wasn’t doing one or two post, or let alone any post for that matter, why would I really do an update about one or NO post. So although I am putting my motivational and non procrastinating boots on, I think its time to let that little segment go and introduce a new one that I think can stick too.
Don’t get me wrong, I can sit all day and talk about which foundation is the most long lasting and which lipstick I just couldn’t live without, but I also enjoy having a Good Ol’ chit chat about life. I love being cosied up with a good wine cup of tea and having a chin wag about different issues that happens in our lives and giving my thoughts and opinions on them.
So every Sunday (Don’t pay to much emphasise on the ‘every’) I will be discussing a topic and pretty much giving my opinions, advice and lessons that I have learnt from that particular topic.
Lets start this first edit with a controversial one and talk about whether the blogging community are really supportive of one another. . .
I have gone back and forth with whether to discuss this or not, out of fear of being excluded from the blogging community because it not a popular topic or I am not being very Blogger-esque . Well fuck it, I would rather be excluded, than to feel like I cant have a voice and express my feelings (in a reasonably diplomatic matter) on a particular topic that affects a lot of bloggers (old and new).
OK I have been blogging for over a year now and I can honestly say I have seen much BS from bloggers, that I actually have no option but to laugh, because thank god, there is no technology of yet, which allows you to project your hand through cyber space and slap the bitch out of stupidness seen online!
JEALOUSY
You have started blogging and later down the line you have noticed the same bloggers who started around the same time as you are doing extremely well.
What’s the problem?
Some of the ones that are doing extremely well, have somehow come to the conclusion that they are now the dogs bollocks and don’t want to associate with other bloggers they were happy to talk too when you were both rocking your 250 following happily together. It seems now your following isn’t good enough for their new level and they have now become ghost and unresponsive, when you are still continuing to support them in any way possible. The problem here is if you now get fed up and decide to be Petty Betty does this make you a hater? Should you continue to support someone who isn’t being reciprocative?
Whats the solution?
This one is a bugger, because really and truly we don’t know what makes a blogger just switch up from being all sweet and dandy to acting like you don’t exist. In my personal experience I’ve had bloggers who have followed me when our follower count was very alike, and when my numbers started picking up relatively higher than theirs, they have unfollowed and stopped supporting me. Then I’ve had bloggers with a higher count than mine, befriend and support me and once again when my following started growing the retweeting of my post and the double tapping of my pics became non existent. What did I do? Honestly in the beginning of my blogging days I was a Petty Betty and just unfollowed them back, but thinking about it now, was I petty? Not everyone is going to be supportive of your dreams thats just real life, but if you feel like you actually had an e-connection with the blogger and they have gone left, then you are very much in your right to walk away too. The truth is, its hard to judge people intentions, if you feel played by then walk away from it, but if you actually enjoy the content the blogger has then you can also not stoop their level and continue to admire their work from afar. DO NOT… I REPEAT DO NOT, message the blogger bashing them and demanding an explanation for their behaviour. Its not worth it, and trust me they probably don’t give a damn.
BITCHINESS
I don’t know whether something toxic was leaked in the bloggers air or the whole 2017 ‘New Year New Me’, has got some people so hyped up, but goodness has there been a lot of bitchiness going on. Not a day goes by that I go on to my twitter and end up seeing someone retweeting a bitchy comment from another blogger or someone blatantly sub tweeting another bloggers tweet and all of that bloggers cliquey friends LOL’ing and using the laughing or the eye roll emoji face in agreeableness.
What’s the problem?
In the real world, when you usually have a problem with someone you either pull them aside and have a word quietly without anyone else getting involved, or you would just ignore that person and steer clear away from them. The issue online is that once something is out… its OUT… there is no hiding away from it and it also gives people access to reign in their own two cents ( because if you didn’t want anyone to know, you wouldn’t have put it out for everyone to see right?) This then creates the BIG DIVIDE. You will have one side egging it on and stirring the pot, then the other side trying to be the peacemaker, until they get offended by another commentator and its now just become a vicious cycle.
Whats the solution?
JUST. LET. IT. GO. It really isn’t that deep! Unless you have actually met said blogger and spent copious amount of time with them to understand them well enough (which common sense would be you messaging or calling them if you saw something you didn’t like), then whatever they express or tweet shouldn’t offend you enough to become so bitchy online to them. COME ON you don’t actually know them. If you follow them and in time realise you don’t have things in common then guess what? UNFOLLOW THEIR ASS! And if someone you are following re tweets one of said bloggers tweet, then guess what? IGNORE IT!
THE NUMBERS GAME
You have bloggers that want to grow their Blog, Twitter, IG… (Obviously) but what about those bloggers that feel no way about following you too only days or even seconds later unfollow you?
Whats the problem?
What is the actual point!? Why has society become such a numbers game? Its like you are only relevant or something special if you have a big following. What is wrong with just growing your brand organically and not trying to be the next Zoella overnight. The problem here is that you think no one is noticing, but we are, and you now longer become trustworthy, which in turn has no one supporting you and how do you then succeed?
Whats the solution?
BE. PATIENT. I believe that hard work really does pay off. Don’t get me wrong you have every right to feel frustrated and disheartened ( I know I definitely have days… weeks of feeling like this) but does it actually make you feel good taking time out of your day to follow so many people to only go on to unfollow them straight after? Your not the only one trying to be successful. The same people you are following to unfollow, will most likely have the same dreams and ambitions as you, but they are going about it the right way (ORGANICALLY) and not being a dick instead. I am not at all saying you have to follow people and never unfollow them, I most definitely have, but the people I am unfollowing are the ones that have become non-existent, are ghost followers or I realise I don’t have anything in common with them anymore.
POST BASHERS
That annoying moment when you have spent time and effort on a blog post, publish it too then have that Blogger Tit come and bash you.
Whats the problem?
Are you ok!? Did my blog post, my flatlay or the way I did my makeup have you feeling so butt hurt that you just had to leave a comment under my post expressing your hatred for it? Why are bloggers reading blog post they dislike, feeling the eager urge to let everyone know why they hate it so horribly? In your everyday life I am sure you see a whole heap of crap that you dislike but I bet you don’t go up to that complete stranger and vent out your personal opinion on them do you? So why are you now being a keyboard warrior behind your computer? Your being a bitch!
Whats the solution?
Some people need to stop taking the whole ‘freedom of speech’ to literal! Yes of course you have the right to comment and express anything you want, but don’t use that as an excuse to be an twat! If you don’t like a post or have an issue with it, you can simply question or word it in a reasonable and respectable manner or guess what? IGNORE IT. How is your ignorant of a comment, helping ,encouraging or even getting that blogger to understand your point of view in any way? We are all grown and should be fully aware by now that not every thing not liked should be given a response.
So with all the above said, I believe the blogging community is not as supportive as it could it be. There are too many people with different beliefs, opinions, view and agendas for it to be cohesive. In a way its all too political, you have the left wing bloggers who are all about solidarity and supporting one another then you have the right wing bloggers who are like its a dog eat dog world out there and every blogger for themselves. I just feel like you don’t need to be in the popular clique, have won a blog award, have a big following to be Miss or Mr Big Timer, it also doesn’t give you the right to think you are now better than others and can have your own set of rules of how others should be treated.
Do you think the blogging community are unified? Do bloggers like seeing other bloggers succeed?
nice read!
I can totally relate to Instagram craziness, number game is for real, and very recently I started noticing the overnight increase in followers for so many top (Indian) bloggers that I used to look up to, it makes me feel sick in my stomach. Also, I feel that many new bloggers think that they should pretty much ass lick famous bloggers to belong to the blogger clout and launch themselves as new bloggers worthy of exposure. It’s sad that these bloggers will like any darn picture they see on any big profile, but hesitate to show support to their peers who may have less followers but are not as corrupt as some of the big ones.
But then there will always be people like that, and thankfully there will always be bloggers who take pride in their work and believe in organic growth. After all, bloggers are regular people, some are nice, some are not. Such is life, you meet all kinds of people, some are mean, jealous, insecure, social climbers, and then some are genuine, courageous, inspiring, talented, warm and honest people.
Glad to have landed on your blog.
xx
Saabri
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Saabri, I actually don’t think you could of said it any better! Absolutely spot on!!! It literally makes my skin crawl with the way people leech onto ‘big followers’ thinking that such blogger will validate them of some sort!? Social climbers are on the rise now more so than ever, because they are too lazy to work hard like every other person and want to be social media famous! It’s pathetic!!! Thank you so much for taking your time to read my post and your kind words! Xxx
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I loved this post Laura, it’s great that you are honest. Really inspiring and helpful❤
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Thank you so much Roxanne! I’m glad it helped! 😘💗💗
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I’ve only been involved with the blogging community for a few months, but I actually haven’t seen anything that you have mentioned so far. The people that I have met seem to be very supportive and kind towards me and others. I have heard of situations where people get a bit stuck up the moment they get a larger following and stop befriending people that aren’t as popular, but from what I have noticed through my experiences, everyone has been nothing but kind to me! This was a great and thought provoking post! I’m excited for your new sunday series xxx
Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com
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Thank you for reading Melina! Oh your so lucky, not that it’s anything to be worried about. Whenever I see the drama I don’t get involved. Yeah the numbers hierarchy is so annoying, and it’s not nice that certain bloggers will use you till your no longer needed! Awww thank you, already planning next weeks topic xxx
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Every point you make is very justified. I have been blogging for four years and was so bothered about getting followers and comments and likes in the first two years
Now, i just don’t give a toss lol. I blog with the view in mind, i might help on person make an informed choice.
Many have followed and unfollowed me, especially on Instagram and if they are following to get their numbers up, i usually delete. I also have some fantastic genuine followers who write great posts themselves and these are the ones that keep me going.
Succeeding to me is, doing something i love doing and getting great personal gratification out of it.
I am not going to work for PR companies who tell me what i am going to write about their products. It’s my way or uff off. I don’t take the Tanya Burr’s of the blogging world seriously at all because they would say any product was brilliant to be paid. Blogging is about being genuine and writing from your own heart. If you are doing that, you are successful.
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Love this!!!! Wow 4 years!!? Well you most definitely know a thing or few for that matter how the how blogging “game” goes! I agree, I love for my blog to inspire and help someone who might have been unsure beforehand.
Wishing you another 4 years plus more with your blog!!!! 💗💗💗
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Thanks Laura x
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Great post! I feel the same way! I try to follow blogs that are similar and/or i. Sync with my interests. Twitter is especially guilty of the follow/unfollow game that I honestly just stopped caring. I have come to love blogging but I am also a med student and have way more important shit to do in my day than be crying bc someone unfollowed. I have some mutuals that we always comment and support each other even tho they grew a ton in 2016 and I got stuck bc I hd to take a LOA for almost a semester. Jeep this segment up bc it’s great! Love the honesty ❤️❤️😘
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Thank you Jani! A med student!? Yeah I would literally be giving zero fucks too with all the hard work you have to deal with! 😂 I’m a part of those groups too, and it’s so nice and encouraging to be a part of a little network when no one is judging but purely supporting! Thank you for reading and commenting. Wish you all the best 😘💗💗💗
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Thank you!! Hahaha definitely it’s a lot to do especially studying, but surprisingly there are a lot of med student bloggers too so that helps keep motivated and understanding.
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I’m glad you have been able to find a good network of people to support you!!! Xxx
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As a new blogger, only started a couple of months ago, I am still getting my mind around the blogging community. I never used to read blogs, only got interested in the social media world after finishing university and I am so happy that I discovered your blog today. Personally, I love leaving comments on my favourite bloggers page and liking every picture of people I choose to follow on instagram. I find it difficult to now leave comments on a big influencer’s insta page, it seems that they only want support from people that follow them rather than another up and coming blogger? Any thought on this idea?
Have a great start to the week!
xo,
I AM YASMIN
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Thank yon Yasmin for your kind words! I completely agree. I have tried interacting with bigger influencers simply and purely because I enjoyed their content and wanted to comment upon it. The first few times when I didn’t get a response I ignored it because I was aware they were obviously inundated with a lot of comments, but when I started going back to the comments and saw they were only replying to other big bloggers or followers who were not bloggers I completely unfollowed. I don’t want to put the snobby stigma on all big bloggers because there are a few who I speak to on twitter, Instagram and they are so down to earth it’s unbelievable. I just think it’s rather not the person being a blogger per se but the behaviour and attitude of the individual itself!
That’s why I sometimes don’t leave comments on a bigger influence because I don’t want to feel let down if they just show themselves up to be a “snobby to good to talk to you blogger”. So I’ll just enjoy their content from afar! Xxx
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Did you get my reply to your comment? Xxx
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Reading this was literally making me go “yes, YES!” The entire time. The amount of bitchiness lately has been absolutely crazy, and it’s so unnecessary, especially with publicly outing someone. It’s not hard to just send them a DM about it! I feel like the divide that’s now forming isn’t needed either, why can’t we just all get along and that be the end of it?
– Chloe
chloetommo.co.uk
xoxo
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Awww Chloe I’m glad you like it! It’s absolutely ridiculous and I’ve at times felt the anxiety for some of these people. Why does every drama have to be known to all man, just for retweets and likes! I just wonder as blogging keeps expanding whether it will be simple to go back to being a community or is this the “new era” xxxx
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I love this post ! It’s so honest and transparent and I can’t almost imagine your sitting there pretty much angrily bashing the keyboard 🙊 Because i know it drives me insane that bloggers aren’t all that supportive and 2017 has been the year of bitchiness in the blogging community. It’s so important it is addressed because hopefully people will snap out of it and just be happy for others! Your doing amazing and you know I love your blog dearly! I feel like we have also found a friendship which is lovely! And honestly you deserve so many more followers than you have and more importantly you deserve so much more credit for what you do!
Stacey
(The one that tucks her saggy boobs in her granny pants)
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Ugh, please tell me why my eyes are welling up. It’s comments like yours that keep me afloat and let’s me know I am meant to be blogging for a reason. If I can at least touch one person with my post, I feel I have accomplished something. 2017 has been horrible for the blogging community. There is not a week that hasn’t gone by that I haven’t seen some sort of bitchiness happening. It’s just wrong and I think people use the “just giving my opinion” card far to much. I would definitely 100% consider you my friend and I am eternally grateful for your friendship and constant support!!! Thank you so much sweetheart and I pray you have continuous success in abundance! 😘💗💗💗
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Nice read. I have been blogging back in the day (you know, when your design was shit but you tought it was the best thing ever). It was all about community, actually checking the blog every week, to see if someone has posted anything new, connecting with eachother, talking, making friends,… Nowadays, like you said, is mostly the numbers game and comparing to others. I get it, most of the ‘newbies’ come to blogging for the money, meaning (in my opinion) that they only look to growing the numbers so they can get paid.
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That’s it!!! I blog because I am seriously passionate about my niche and if I can make a career out of it perfect! Some people watch Zoella etc and just go into blogging for all the wrong reasons and it can be very frustrating. I hope eventually it can just go back to enjoying each other’s content and not a competition! Xx
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As a fellow blogger I 100% want everyone to succeed. Blogging lets you get a message to a large audience, cheap, fun, and make a ton of money. It’s a win all around…with 7 billion people no such thing as competition for bloggers.
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Absolutely! Couldn’t say it better myself!!
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this is a super interesting & honest point of view – if i’m being really honest too i agree with you that most of it stems from jealousy – pure & simple.
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Thank you so much Hal! It definitely is. If only others work could inspire and motivate people rather than make them jealous and mean, would make the blogging community so much better x
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I love you for posting this you are saying what some of us have been thinking. I have been to a couple blogger event where I got the stink eye because they look at you as competition or they are nice to you on Instagram and rude to you in person. thanks for this post and I wish you great success.
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Ugh! Why are people like this! Blogging is not a lifestyle for the super elite! Any and everyone can blog if they want too. I hope this doesn’t defer you from carrying on and going to more blogger events! Jealousy is such a horrible trait! Xxx
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As someone who is new to blogging (about 3 months) but old in years (62) I am not surprised by what you’ve said, I admire your courage to do so. I will do my best to be a blogger with some integrity. Thanks for posting this and I wish you continued success.
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Thank you for your kind words! I wish you all the best in your blogging career! There’s room for ALL of us xxx
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I’m a new reader who will not unfollow, hello! I’ve been blogging for 7 years in August, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the changes I’ve seen.
I’m (still) a genuine person who wants to connect with genuine people.
We need more people who blog like you, keep being who you are.
Lorna xox
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Lorna thank you so much for your kinds words! Coming from an OG blogger like yourself that makes me so happy to hear xx
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I truly do hope other bloggers succeed.. I just worry about me and how it makes me feel to do it. Life is to sorry to be anything but happy and worrying about what other bloggers are doing is such a waste of my creativity time. P.s. I purposely chose to read this because I’m not easily offended and I loved that warning!
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Hahah I’m glad you enjoyed it! Everything you said is spot on! Life is too short and I’m not trying to get to 80 regretting all the time I was worrying about pointless crap! Xx
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I love this post! I literally let my ENTIRE blog go following the way the blogging ‘community’ was. I was so done with writing.
Happily, I’m returning to it and just doing it for me. But you’ve hit the nail on the head with these, so much of it is a competition. It’s horrible to see that those who’ve ‘made it’ or hit higher numbers stop interacting with us, but at the same time; screw that!
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First of I am glad you have come back to writing! Do NOT let the arrogance and stupidity of people stop you from your passion. Focus on you and blind out the negative Nancy’s xx
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