Hi Lovlies, as Mother’s Day is arriving shortly I thought I would do a jovial post on the things that we have all, or most probably kept away from our mothers. I know there are lot of blog post, of mothers day wishlist or things to do on mothers day with your mum. So I thought I would spice it up with something funny instead.
P.S Mum if your reading I DID NONE OF THESE 😉
BEING A VIRGIN
Now this isn’t necessarily something you keep away from your mother, but I certainly didn’t skip downstairs with that after sex glow, sit down and tell my mum the whole shebang story of how that lovely boy (in her words) took away her only daughters innocence. As I am a mother now she obviously knows I’ve had sex but it was just something that was never spoken about.
SNEAKING YOUR BF/GF IN
Don’t you dare shake your head at me! Come on we have all done it right? When your 16, 17, to be honest there is not a lot of things for you to be doing out of the house after 6pm. plus with all the sweet nothing text messages going back and forth between you and bae, you want to take a run on the wild side and see if you can frankly… get away with it. Now it was never an issue sneaking him in but how I wished he would be like Edward Cullen (Twilight) and fly out without a pin drop. His Lanky Ass would always make noise jumping out the window.
Calm down, now I’m not saying you were cruising around the bike shed every Friday sniffing coke. But most of us have fallen into the peer pressure category, especially when it comes to having a puff off a cigarette. How many of you saw Rizzo from grease and just wanted to be as cool as her. Luckily some of us will take that puff and vow to never go back, or you end up becoming addicted to that white stick. Which by now it is no longer a secret to your mum.
“It was the DOG!” Oh lord, I never had any pets so just imagine the confusment on my mum’s face when I told her that the strong winds from outside blew the next door neighbours dog into the house, who then opened the stiff cupboard and smashed two of her china glasses (what an active imagination brain I had). As a child we were all just so clumsy, and the times we wasn’t, the Clumsy Gods just wanted to torment us and something would still break. She always said I never did any cleaning. Oh believe me mum you have no IDEA!
Listen, you remember when penny sweets was actually a PENNY (the good old days). If I ever saw a 1, 2, 5, 10,20,50, 1 pound coin ‘lounging’ around, that would nicely find its way into my pockets, and I would leg it down the corner shop to get my sugar fix! Those lovely days we didn’t really understand the concept of money so seeing these coins around was like our ‘PRECIOUUUUUSSSSSS’. Oh and mum I sometimes took money out of the piggy bank. You always said you were saving it for a rainy day. We are in England, it rains EVERDAY Mum!
” Tell me how much you love it Laura”… * Side Wide Eyed*”Mum you look great”. That dreaded mopped haircut all our mum’s have come home with… she thinks she looks like the queen of Sheba, I highly disagree! But she cant stop looking in the mirror smiling like a Cheshire cat, stroking that hair, that I cant bring myself to tell her it looks horrid! “Do you want me to walk you into school?”… “NOOOOO… Errr Mrs Smith says she wants us to start being independent and walking ourselves into class”… “Ok love, bye”…. “Phew that was a close one!”
HER OOTD (Outfit of the day)
Seriously, what were they posting in magazines back then? because some of mums outfit choices were atrocious and she had the audacity to tell me, they were in style. To those puke coloured riding trousers to her multi coloured puffy roll neck jumpers, it was truly an eye sore for me some days. She had no clue and would strut her stuff like she was the new ‘IN’ thing since slice bread. MY.OH.MY
GETTING LYRICS WRONG
This was an everyday issue in my teenage years. mum got stuck with me playing my tunes on repeat hours upon hours, but she still failed to get the lyrics right. The amount of Sean Paul, Usher and those other 90 hit artist around those times, that my mum would cremate their lyrics was something else. Personally I found it just too funny to correct her and me and my friends would always have a giggle when she would sing around us trying to be “cool”.The last straw was when she referred to the Backstreet Boys, as the ‘Street Back Boys’ OK ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
OK so besides those, I really didn’t keep much away from my mum. But do you want me to let you in on a little secret…. MUM’S KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!!
She knew full well I wasn’t a virgin any more when she caught my boyfriend sneaking out the house one night… she knew I must of dabbled with cigarettes, when she was cleaning my clothes and a lighter dropped out my pockets. When she took the rubbish out one day she heard the clinks of broken glass in the bag. She was standing by the door on one my leg it trips to the corner shop to go buy sweets, and she definitely overheard me on the phone to my girls, roasting her over her new haircut and OOTD. And in regards to getting lyrics wrong, someone must of definitely corrected her.
So I hope you enjoyed this funny post. What things have you kept away from your mum, that you think she doesn’t know about. Plus how do they always know when we are up to something? Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in my next post.
P.S I hope all of you Mothers have a wonderful day, and know that you are loved by your children not just one day but everyday of our lives.
All images taken from GOOGLE