When a child hits your child 

I can imagine this being every parents dread. It’s just one of those inevitable things that we have to witness and experience.

My first experience of a child hitting my son was at baby group. Baby Splod had been quietly playing with a toy truck when a baby boy came over and literally just hit him on the head. To say I was shocked would only be a percentage of the actual rage I felt inside. Now being a first time mother I’m not idiotic to not think my child won’t get into a bit of bother here and there but seeing it for the first time really bothered me. Of course my first reaction was to go and check on Splod. He on the other hand could not of cared less, not even a single tear, and Seeing his own reaction made my blood pressure start to go down (thank god). I looked round to see who the boys mother was and when we locked eyes she gave me a half smile and a shrug of the shoulders. “I BEG YOUR PARDON!” Or something a little more expletive is what I wanted to shout at the woman. A shrug of the shoulders? Did she not want to apologise on the behalf of her son or even reprimand him? Nope she was not bothered in the slightest. My blood pressure instantly shot up again.

Now I’m aware that babies are not aware of what they are doing most of the time, but I believe that’s the reason why we exist is to be the primary teacher to show them right from wrong.

At such a young age (Splod is 9 months) I don’t think a child hitting my child or vice versa should be taken so nonchalant. I wouldn’t go into a full blown lecture/ rant on him but a simple stern look and saying “no we don’t hit, it’s not nice” is frankly good enough for me.

It’s expected for children that age to get a bit over the top, so it’s more so of the parents reaction and attitude towards it that I look out for.

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Then there was the scenario at Kidspace (which luckily didn’t involve Splod, but got me thinking). There was about 10 kids in this play pit and this one particular boy who was just so overly excited. He would be running up and down and barging into other babies unintentionally until he saw two girls in a part of the area he wanted to be in and went over and started kicking them. Being one of four parents who was inside the pit and closest to the girls they came crying over to me telling me what the boy had done. Trying to keep an eye on Splod who is so nosey and wanted to see what all the commotion was about and telling the girls not to cry. I was wondering where their parents were and also of the boy. I also had that feeling of not wanting to say too much as I got the notion from the girls that they wanted me to tell this boy off. Which I wouldn’t do, but in Splod’s case if it had happened to him and the boy parents were not around I would of told him to stop kicking my son. Looking at the other 3 parents in the pit who looked just as confuse over the situation as I was, I picked up my son and made a swift exit to another play pit.

But when Splod gets to age of 3+ and is more cognitive of his actions. If a child of similar age was to hit him, to be honest I would hold back and watch his reaction towards it before I intervene. Fingers crossed he doesn’t go all rocky balbo and lay the kid out, but I do want him to be able to defend himself in a corrective manner.

What are your thoughts on this touchy matter. How would you respond to someone hitting your kid? Do you believe it’s something that is bound to happen and shouldn’t have so much attention payed to it or do you think parents should speak out more or intervene. Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

See you in my next post

Take care

Laura x

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11 thoughts on “When a child hits your child 

    1. Aww thank you so much reading boho charming :))… Exactly, when I know my child can’t defend himself I just want to run in like mama bear. But I also have the sense to know if he does wrong to let him know he has done wrong and not just shrug it off. Xx

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  1. Not sure I’m allowed an opinion on this one, but it sounds like a hard one to navigate – I’ve seen on mumsnet that parents doing nothing when their kid hits someone is up there as one of the things that annoys other parents the *most.* If it was me in this specific situation (but I used to be a teacher) I’d speak to the child if the parent either wasn’t around or wasn’t bothered, because it annoys me when parents don’t sort their kids out and let it get out of control – years down the line they’re the same parents who don’t understand why they keep getting called into school about their child’s behaviour. BUT… I’d never interfere unless they were endangering another child or themselves (and I’d class hitting as endangering just on the off chance that the child getting hit might have something like brittle bone disease or hemophilia).

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting, and of course you can have an opinion :). I agree with you 100%. There’s nothing I hate more than when these ‘backseat’ parents start looking everywhere but themselves at why their child is constantly in trouble.

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  2. I have had this happen. Princess Pea is the most tender hearted child in the world and melted into a puddle of tears and shock. It happened at church. The teachers shurgged it off like it was nothing. The teachers told me that the boy who chose to hit Pea, was a chronic hitter and she just needed to learn to run away. Unfortunately for the teachers, I have over ten years of child care experiance (read that as 10+ years disciplining other people’s children) and a degree in this kind of nonsense. I went to the kid who was now hiding in the corner, waiting for a reaction. I got down on his level and explained to him that hitting hurts friends and asked him if he wanted to build with blocks instead of hitting. I sat with him on the floor building airplanes out of Legos with him. He’s never hit my kid again and he and Miss Pea are now friends.
    It was hard not to go all Mamma Bear on him, but I took a breath and remembered that he’s some other Mamma Bear’s cub.

    Thanks for sharing the story. It is hard not to defend, but it’s vital for kids to learn to stand up for themselves (Princess Pea is still working on that, she’s a glass box of emotion).

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    1. Aww bless princess pea. I completely see your point. In regards to you going over to the boy, was it easy for you to do so because of your background in teaching? Because I personally wonder if I would be treading on a thin line doing so. And yes it is vital for kids to learn to defend themselves but I can’t help wanting to protect baby Splod forever 🙂 thank you so much for reading.

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